If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
