Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
