how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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