I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
