I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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