There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
