I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
