Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
one two three fourrrrnication!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
