wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
