Welp...herpes.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
