I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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