goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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