hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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