Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
