we made out on top of his cat.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize