I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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