At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
