fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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