man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
