This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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