make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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