it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
