Heybabeimwearingurpanties
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
