If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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