nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
