can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
