No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
