I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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