I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
