well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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