Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
