Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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