the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize