C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
