Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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