i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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