where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
