Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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