The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize