I wish I only lived at night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
