jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
