Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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