I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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