You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
