That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
