five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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