all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize