Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
