evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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