And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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