Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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