google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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