Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
