So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
