$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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