I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
