Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
