You really coming over, don't trick.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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