it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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