so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
