try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
