do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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