Christians are straight up FREAKS
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
