He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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