he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
